Dear Mackenzie,
When I was a kid, I dreamed of eventually growing up, getting married and having three kids: two boys and a girl. I wanted to name them Erik, Christopher and Samantha. Fast forward a couple decades and my childhood dream had come true: I was married and had two boys and a girl (though I ended up giving them more unique names). But as happy as I was and as chaotic as it already was juggling three young kids, I found myself wanting a fourth. Crazy, right?! A majority of the families we know have two kids, a couple have three and just one has four. Many people I met since Second GuhGaw was born looked at me incredulously when I told them I had three kids; what was I doing wanting four? But that was my new dream: to have a big family, a full house and a strong support system for my kids now and when they are older.
And that is how you came to be! If you thought I got a lot of incredulous looks before with three kids, you should have seen the looks I got when I my baby bump started showing and we told friends and family that #4 was on the way! I heard the words "wow," "brave" and yes, even "crazy" a LOT during my pregnancy with you! And yes, it was definitely crazy after we brought you home from the hospital and there were so many kids in the house. And yes, it got crazier still when a global pandemic overtook the world and we had to close restaurants, shut down schools and shelter-in-place at home for months on end. Honestly, if I had known a pandemic was coming, I'm not sure I still would have wanted another baby, given how risky it is to be inside a hospital now. Thus, I am so so SO glad that I couldn't tell the future because I am so so SO thankful that you are a part of my life! I will also be eternally grateful that you were born just a few months before I ever had to utter the word "coronavirus" and that you are too young to understand what "social distancing" means or why your entire family covers half their faces every time we go outside. During this pandemic, I have often joked to friends that when you are older, we will tell you about these things called "restaurants" and "playgrounds" where we used to go. However, it is my sincerest hope that the virus that has dominated the world during two-thirds of your first year will soon be a thing of the past and that when you are older, you will be going through a storage box at the back of my closet, pull out a pile of old cloth face masks and ask me, "What are these things?"
My Kenziebear, you have brought our family so much joy and laughter during this oftentimes bleak year. It has been wonderful having a cute, squishy, happy baby in the house again and your older siblings absolutely adore you. When you were a newborn, we marveled over how small and delicate you were and over the past year, we have marveled over how much you have grown and every new skill you have acquired. You can stand up from a sitting position all on your own now and are independently taking more and more steps each day. You already said your first word (hi!) and say hi to us all of the time. You are incredibly observant and notice how we use everyday objects: when you hold the TV remote, you aim it at the TV like we do; you correctly hold a pencil and attempt to scribble in my crossword puzzle book; you take my lotion bottle and tap it onto the top of your hand. You are empathetic and whimper when you see one of your siblings crying. You are funny and know when you are being cute. You are also playful and sweet and the perfect addition to our family!
I love you so much, baby girl! Happy first birthday!
Love,
Mom
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